Birthday Friday

Friday was my son's Birthday so I called the rehab in the morning and left a message just saying tell him Happy Birthday knowing I couldn't actually talk to him. To my surprise my son called me about an hour later. He still doesn't have phone privileges but they bent the rules since it was his Birthday. It was soooo great to talk to him! He said he is happy and doing great and so glad he is there. I asked him if I could drop a few things off for him and he said ciggs and candy bars would be great. They give them 3 ciggs a day and he would love more - if it wasn't too much trouble otherwise no problem waiting until we can visit in a couple of weeks. He said he got a few clothing items from a donation bin so he has some shoes and shirts and was really excited about that. He virtually went in with the clothes on his back. He said they took him to the DMV to get an ID again as he hasn't had one in probably over a year and they even paid the $10 DMV fee for him. He told me checked in at 161lbs and already weighs 173lbs! He was very skinny and malnourished upon check in day.

He sounded so grateful for everything about the program. That chip that addict used to carry around on his shoulder is gone..what a pleasure it was to hear this new found attitude!!! To have a peek into of who he is, shine through after years of a crappy attitude when using, when the whole world was out to get him, was wonderful thing for this mom.

Dad and I decided we would get him some new socks, underwear, smokes & candy and I would drop them off. Although it was completely out of the way,  I am so glad I did it myself as I got to see the place he is in. Wow - it's pretty amazing. It's a state/city/donation funded program in an old mansion with an amazing staff. No wonder the waiting list is so long. I felt so grateful that he was given a spot there - twice. As I walked up the first thing I noticed was a sign saying "Today is the first day of the rest of your life". Nice!!

I was fully prepared to just drop off the bag when a counselor came down to get it and decided since it was his Birthday he would call him down real quick. They called him over a PA system and pulled him right out of a meeting and next thing I knew my boy was in my arms. That hug felt so great. He already looks so much better. Healthier, clean and filling out and in his donated clothes. He was very grateful, humble and I could tell he is all about following all the rules and really invested in his recovery.

He was a bit startled by being pulled out of his meeting as I couldn't tell him I was coming but he was smiling and very happy to see me. He did seem tired or a bit spacey or something I can't adequetly describe (not high!), but it gave me a stupid scary thought that somehow he has just destroyed his mind with all the years of drug use and he may not ever be the same again, ugh. I felt a little pit in my stomach and thought he is ruined. He may not ever recover to a healthy mind again. I need to not over-think it - this is very early - only 11 days clean after years of substance abuse and 3 years of hardcore heroin addiction and and I guess it will take time. More then likely it is the Methadone and as they adjust and plan for the proper dose early on, he may just seem a bit spacey and that's okay too. I believe in my heart that the Methadone is what is enabling him to stay this time and begin recovery so I am in full support of it and glad his recovery house supports it.

I was very happy to hug my boy on his Birthday and get to see where he is.