Sunday, August 21, 2011

What a difference a year can make

One year of homelessness, running the streets, stealing for a living, being arrested constantly, getting the cops called on him daily when the daily hotel rent is due and having to relocate every day.

My son called yesterday us from detox. He is doing this. He is sick, he is tired and he is ready for recovery. He has been in for only two days and has arranged a van ride to a rehab for an intake appointment to a long term residential program on Monday. This would be a great time for his higher power to make that bed available!! Please God - a begging mom here : ) This is the first time he wants to go to rehab. He is at a detox ran by St. Vincent De Paul and is utilizing all the help they are providing.

He sounded humble. He sounded sick. He sounded confused but determined. He said he is too sick to figure it all out right now but the place he is in is helping him put a plan together.

We asked him how the food is there and he replied its a lot better then jail food.

He explained that one year ago, when he checked in this very same detox, everything seemed awful, dirty and it was a culture shock to be in a place like this. Today he is grateful for a bed, food and help after a year of hard living on the streets how he fits in there now. He laughed about scheduled smoke breaks and said last year he was annoyed that he couldn't smoke when he wanted, now he is glad he can smoke at all. Last year he argued he didn't want to be at any recovery center that is religious based - yesterday he sounded so grateful for their services.

He said he was so relieved that his girlfriend is going into inpatient, that they were so stuck together. If one of them wanted to stop using, and go for help, they felt they were abandoning the other - a cycle they couldn't figure out how to stop. He said they got very serious about making a change over the last weeks and knew they both had to do it. When she called her parents and he assured her he would get help too.

Unfortunately he found out this detox is only a 4 day detox and he thought it was 7 (I found that out myself when I looked it up online so I know he is being truthful) and he is already set to be released on Monday. His counselor or case manager is trying to get him an additional 4 day extension. He is due to be in court Friday and he is hoping to courts will let him go to rehab and that the residential program will have a spot for him.

I am asking myself if I should step in and "help" navigate all of this, or go to court with him etc, but I know this will work out best if HE figures it all out with the help of the people at the programs. I don't know what the next days will bring.

He did bring up the wedding and was so sorry that he probably will miss his little sisters wedding but he knows he has to get in the residential program - that is the way to a life of recovery. I quickly reminded him that his life and future is much more important and lets just not think about it today - one day at a time. His dad told him that him being in rehab is the best wedding gift he could give his sister.

I'm still keeping myself in today as best as I can, trying not to project and worry if it will all work out. Today I do have a renewed hope for my son and a situation that had felt so hopeless.

1 comment:

  1. Since you are asking yourself whether you should step in, I can't answer that questions for you. But if you ask me, the answer would a NO! Let him do his stuff. It is unfortunate that he will miss the wedding, but there is a consequence for every action. My daughter missed out on a lot of events due to her addiction. He can later watch the video, look at the pictures and maybe it will make him aware of all the things he misses, if he makes the wrong choices. Now is the time for him to concentrate on himself if he seriously wants to quit and for you to be good to yourself and work on your own recovery. You are both in my prayers. Thanks for keeping us updated. Good luck.